hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
