im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
