im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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