He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
