i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
