I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
