I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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