Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
