finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
