singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
