Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
