I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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