ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
