3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
