the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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