I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
