this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
