so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
