K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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