I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
