I wish I could teleport
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize