Need sex. Gaining weight.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
