someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
