I am full of burrito and curiosity
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
