yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
