getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
