I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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