wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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