Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
