Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
A+ Viking dick
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
