um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We got so high we made milksteak
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
