i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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