So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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