I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
