My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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