Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
