i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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