I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
