atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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