i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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