if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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