I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The air was thick with penises
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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