Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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