What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
