I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
