did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
