I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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