her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
