Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
