he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
