I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
zippers are such a cool invention
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
